Self sabotage : Why you're holding yourself back

“ Why do I keep doing this?”

" Everyone thinks you're an idiot"

" I don't think this will work out for me?"

" I am not good enough for that!"

“ How does this keep happening to me?”

You might ask yourself these questions when you feel trapped. And these Inner critic patterns create problems in your life and keep you from achieving your goals and dreams. Even though you try to make changes and disrupt these patterns, somehow you end up, back in the same place, again and again.

If this sounds familiar, well this is you who try to sabotage yourself. I guess you have heard so many times about it. Self-sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do. It undermines your success despite your wishes, dream, and value. 

Sometimes we self-sabotage to escape all the uncomfortable feelings around us. Perhaps we don't know how to manage and process all the difficult thoughts and feelings, so we kinda stuff them down at the moment. 

It is our coping mechanism that is naturally created by past experiences. We may have adopted those behaviors to survive.

HOW YOU BREAK FREE FROM IT...

You must first become aware of the times you are undermining yourself. Whether is literal or figurative. For example, you impulsively bought a big mac sets when you're trying to cut back on junk food. You may sabotage relationships because you fear closeness and intimacy or fear rejection. Or you may procrastinate and avoid because you fear failure or lack planning and time management skills. Or you're feeling competitive with your colleagues, which makes you fall into a pattern of baiting and antagonizing one another without realizing it.

Of course, there are some occasions when we're not as conscious of our self-sabotage behavior or when we misdiagnose the real issue. In life, this frequently occurs. 

The solution for it differs depending on the area of self-sabotage. Getting enough rest and not taking on too much can help you think more clearly and make better choices. Understanding the roots of your fears, and taking small steps toward more closeness can help to deal with them. 

Practicing self-compassion, self-forgiveness, taking more responsibility for planning and motivating yourself, and adopting a growth mindset can help with procrastination at work. And from there, you can begin to learn healthier, more effective ways of dealing with it which will serve you good in the long term.

You're not stuck. You can break the cycle. 

"Remember finding your self-worth, Having a sense of self-worth means that you value yourself, and having a sense of self-value means that you are worthy."